When parents separate, one of the most emotional questions they face is where their child will live and how parenting time will be shared. During this process, many parents ask, “Does my child get a say in custody decisions?”
The answer is complex. In Washington State, a child’s opinion can matter — but it’s only one factor among many that the court considers when deciding what arrangement serves the child’s best interests.
At Story Law in Bellevue, our family law attorneys have spent decades helping parents understand how courts view a child’s perspective in custody cases. We combine compassion with deep legal knowledge to ensure every child’s voice is heard appropriately and respectfully.
The “Best Interests of the Child” Standard
In every child custody case, Washington courts are guided by a single principle: what arrangement serves the best interests of the child.
That means the court looks at many factors to ensure the decision promotes the child’s physical, emotional, and mental well-being. These include:
- Each parent’s ability to provide a stable home environment
- The child’s emotional bond with each parent
- The history of care, involvement, and parenting roles
- Each parent’s mental and physical health
- Any history of domestic violence, neglect, or substance abuse
- The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
Within this framework, the child’s own wishes can be considered—but how much weight those wishes carry depends on several things, including the child’s age, maturity, and understanding of the situation.
When the Court Considers a Child’s Opinion
Washington law does not set a specific age when a child’s opinion automatically counts in custody cases. Instead, judges use discretion based on the individual child and the overall circumstances.
Generally speaking:
- Younger children (under 12): Their opinions are rarely decisive because they may not fully grasp the long-term impact of custody decisions.
- Teenagers (13 and older): Courts are more likely to listen to their preferences, especially if they express them thoughtfully and consistently.
However, even for older children, their opinion is never the only deciding factor. The court still weighs it alongside all other considerations related to their best interests.
How the Court Hears a Child’s Opinion
Many parents assume that their child will need to speak directly to the judge, but that’s rarely how it works. Washington courts protect children from the emotional strain of testifying in open court.
Instead, there are several ways a child’s voice can be heard:
1. Through a Guardian ad Litem (GAL)
A Guardian ad Litem is a trained professional appointed by the court to represent the child’s best interests. The GAL interviews the child, parents, teachers, and others involved in the child’s life, then submits a report and recommendations to the court.
The GAL may include the child’s preferences in the report, but they balance that information with professional insight into what arrangement best supports the child’s well-being.
2. Through a Parenting Evaluator
A parenting evaluator (often a mental health professional) may be appointed to assess family dynamics. Like a GAL, they may consider a child’s wishes while focusing on the overall family situation.
3. Through In-Camera Interviews
In some cases, the judge may speak privately with the child in chambers (called an in-camera interview). This conversation is confidential and conducted without the parents present to ensure the child feels safe expressing their true feelings.
4. Through Mediation or Collaborative Family Law
When families choose mediation or collaborative law, children often don’t participate directly—but their needs and preferences are discussed with sensitivity. These methods focus on creating parenting plans that honor the child’s comfort, schedule, and emotional health.
At Story Law, we often help parents reach agreements through collaboration, reducing the emotional toll that litigation can bring to both parents and children.
When a Child’s Wishes Might Not Be Followed
Even if a child expresses a clear preference, the court may choose not to follow it. Judges carefully evaluate the reasons behind the child’s wishes. For instance:
- If one parent has pressured or influenced the child
- If the child’s preference seems based on convenience rather than well-being (e.g., fewer rules or less supervision)
- If the preferred parent has a history of instability or harmful behavior
The court’s duty is to protect the child’s long-term welfare, even if that means going against the child’s stated choice.
The Role of Mediation in Child Custody Decisions
Mediation is often one of the healthiest ways to resolve custody disputes. It allows parents, with the help of a neutral mediator, to create a parenting plan that reflects the child’s needs without a courtroom battle.
In mediation, both parents can share insight into their child’s personality, routines, and preferences. The child’s voice is represented through the parents’ understanding of what makes their child feel most secure.
This cooperative approach often leads to better long-term co-parenting relationships and less emotional distress for children.
When Litigation Becomes Necessary
Sometimes, despite best efforts, parents cannot agree on custody terms through collaboration or mediation. In those cases, litigation may be required.
During litigation, the court makes the final custody determination. Judges rely on evidence, testimony, and professional recommendations rather than emotional arguments.
While the process can feel stressful, it’s designed to protect children from instability and conflict. At Story Law, our family law team ensures your perspective—and your child’s best interests—are presented clearly and respectfully to the court.
How a Child’s Rights Are Protected in Custody Cases
Washington courts take great care to safeguard children’s rights during custody proceedings. These protections include:
- The right to a safe, stable, and nurturing environment
- The right to maintain meaningful relationships with both parents, when appropriate
- The right to have their feelings heard, but not to bear the burden of adult decisions
If you believe your child’s preferences or emotional needs are being overlooked, a family law attorney can request evaluations, mediations, or court hearings to ensure those rights are properly recognized.
The Balance Between a Child’s Voice and Parental Judgment
One of the hardest parts of custody disputes is balancing a child’s feelings with parental wisdom. While it’s essential to listen to children and validate their emotions, parents must remember that children see the world through a limited lens.
The goal is to honor their voice without letting them shoulder decisions that belong to adults. Courts—and experienced lawyers—help parents navigate that balance thoughtfully.
At Story Law, we encourage parents to communicate with their children honestly and gently, without involving them directly in disputes. This approach keeps children emotionally safe while still respecting their individuality.
How Story Law Helps Families in Bellevue and Beyond
For more than 35 years, Story Law has helped families across Bellevue, Redmond, Kirkland, and the greater Seattle area resolve complex child custody cases with compassion and integrity.
Our attorneys understand how deeply these cases affect parents and children alike. We bring not only legal skill but also emotional intelligence to every case—ensuring families find solutions that promote stability and peace.
We assist clients by:
- Representing parents in mediation, collaborative law, and litigation
- Working with Guardians ad Litem and evaluators
- Filing or modifying parenting plans
- Advocating for arrangements that reflect both the child’s voice and long-term welfare
When families work with Story Law, they gain a team that believes in fairness, dignity, and communication—not conflict.
Moving Forward With Compassion and Clarity
A child’s opinion does matter in Washington custody cases—but it’s part of a much larger picture that includes their safety, growth, and happiness.
If you’re facing a custody decision and wondering how your child’s wishes might be heard, Story Law in Bellevue can help. Our family law attorneys will guide you through every step with care, compassion, and an unwavering focus on your child’s well-being.
Your family’s story matters. Let’s protect what’s most important—together.
