Asset division can get complicated when a long-term relationship ends and the couple was never married. Many people call this “common law marriage,” yet Washington handles it differently.
Washington does not create a marriage just because a couple lived together for years. Still, Washington courts may divide certain property from a long-term, marriage-like relationship under a legal doctrine called a Committed Intimate Relationship (often shortened to CIR).
At Story Law in Bellevue, our family law team helps clients understand what counts, what does not, and how to approach the process in a way that protects their future and keeps the facts clear.
Is “Common Law Marriage” Still a Thing in Washington?
Not in the way most people mean it.
Washington does not have common law marriage. In Washington, a valid marriage requires a license and a ceremony. However, Washington may recognize a common law marriage that was validly formed in another state that allows it.
So if your relationship began and became a legal common law marriage somewhere else, it may carry over. If it started in Washington as “we live together and feel married,” Washington will not treat it as a marriage.
What Are Committed Intimate Relationships?
A Committed Intimate Relationship is a stable, marriage-like relationship where both people live together knowing they are not legally married. Courts developed this doctrine to address fairness when a couple built property and shared finances over time.
A CIR is not a divorce. You do not “file for divorce” from a CIR. Instead, one person files a court action asking the judge to recognize the CIR and then decide fair asset division and debt allocation for property tied to the relationship. You must first prove the relationship qualifies as a CIR.
How a Court Decides Whether Your Relationship Qualifies
Courts look at the full story of the relationship. They do not rely on a single factor like “we lived together for five years.”
Common factors include:
- continuous cohabitation
- duration of the relationship
- purpose of the relationship
- pooling resources and services for joint projects
- the intent of the parties
“Continuous cohabitation” also does not always mean you never spent a night apart. Courts look for consistency and whether the relationship functioned like a shared household over time.
Because this is fact-driven, documentation and credibility matter. Texts, leases, bank records, shared bills, and testimony from friends or family can all play a role.
What Property Can Be Divided in a CIR Case?
A key difference between CIR cases and divorce cases is the scope of what the court divides.
After a court finds a CIR, the judge can divide property and debts from the relationship, and the judge can only divide property you got and debts you took on during the CIR.
Courts often describe this as dividing “community-like” property. The focus stays on what the couple acquired while living in the committed relationship.
Separate property still matters
In many CIR cases, property that stayed clearly separate often remains separate. Gifts and inheritances commonly stay separate as well, even if received during the relationship.
That said, separate property can still become a dispute if it mixed with shared funds, or if the other partner made major contributions that changed its value. Those cases require careful tracing and strong records.
Common Asset Division Issues in Long-Term Relationships
Here are the areas where CIR asset division disputes often show up.
The home and real estate
Homes create conflict because they tie together mortgage payments, repairs, sweat equity, and down payments.
Questions that often matter:
- Who paid the down payment, and when?
- Did both partners contribute to mortgage payments?
- Did one partner pay for renovations or major repairs?
- Did both partners treat the home as “ours,” even if title stayed in one name?
Courts may treat a residence as community-like property when facts support that result, then divide assets and debts in a fair way.
Bank accounts and savings
Even if accounts stayed separate on paper, the court may look at how money was used in real life.
Helpful records include:
- monthly bank statements
- proof of who paid what bills
- transfers between accounts
- shared savings goals or joint projects
Retirement benefits
Retirement can become tricky in CIR cases. Some retirement plans may require special steps to divide. Also, the court’s authority in a CIR is not identical to divorce in every detail.
If retirement is on the table, plan documents and contribution history become important early. A family law lawyer can coordinate with a QDRO professional when the plan requires it.
Businesses and side income
If one partner built a business during the relationship, the other partner may still have a claim tied to shared efforts, shared risk, or shared resources.
Records that help:
- business formation documents
- tax returns
- profit and loss statements
- proof of unpaid labor or support that helped the business grow
Personal property
Cars, furniture, tools, collections, and high-value items can add up. A clean inventory with photos and purchase records often reduces conflict.
Debt Division: The Part People Underestimate
Debt is part of the same story.
A court can divide debts taken on during the CIR. That includes credit cards, loans, and other obligations that supported the household or joint projects.
Debt disputes often come down to:
- why the debt was incurred
- who benefited from it
- whether it funded shared living expenses or personal spending
Clear documentation helps here too.
A Big Difference From Divorce: Spousal Support
Many people assume that a CIR breakup allows “alimony,” like divorce.
In Washington, courts generally do not award spousal maintenance after a CIR ends, because that remedy belongs to marriage dissolution.
So, in many CIR cases, property division becomes the main financial tool the court uses to reach a fair result.
Time Limits: Don’t Wait Too Long
Timing matters. Many CIR claims are treated as subject to a three-year time limit in practice. The exact start date can depend on the facts, especially if the relationship ended gradually or the parties separated and reconciled.
Because of that, it’s smart to get legal advice early if you think a CIR claim may apply.
Steps That Make Asset Division Clearer
If you think your breakup may qualify as a CIR and you want a fair asset division outcome, these steps often help:
- Make a list of major assets and debts (home, cars, accounts, credit cards)
- Gather records that show shared life (leases, utility bills, joint purchases)
- Save bank statements and proof of payments
- Pull retirement statements and plan documents
- Keep copies of texts or emails about shared projects or financial decisions
- Avoid big transfers or property moves without legal advice
Small choices early can reduce conflict later.
Options Outside Court: Agreements and Planning
Many couples never plan for a breakup. Still, planning often prevents expensive disputes.
Tools that may help, depending on your situation:
- A written cohabitation agreement that sets expectations about property and expenses
- Clear documentation of separate contributions to major assets
- For some couples (such as when one partner is 62 or older), Washington offers state registered domestic partnerships, which follow a different legal framework
A lawyer can help you choose the right structure for your family and your goals.
Collaborative Law vs. Litigation in CIR Cases
Some CIR cases resolve well through respectful negotiation, especially when both people share information and want closure.
Collaborative law can work well when:
- both partners want privacy and calmer communication
- both sides agree to full financial transparency
- the focus is a practical, fair division
Still, some CIR cases require litigation, especially when:
- one partner controls the finances and blocks access
- assets appear missing or hidden
- the parties disagree about whether a CIR existed
- power dynamics make negotiation unsafe
Story Law supports clients in both paths. We aim for respectful solutions when possible, and we prepare carefully for court when the facts require it.
Talk With Story Law About Asset Division After a Long-Term Relationship
If you’re facing the end of a long-term relationship and you’re worried about asset division, you deserve clear answers and a plan that fits your real life.
At Story Law in Bellevue, we help clients understand whether a relationship may qualify as a Committed Intimate Relationship, what property the court can address, and how to pursue a fair outcome through negotiation or litigation.
If you’re ready to talk, our family law team is here to listen.
